Bornunder Dutchess
12-14-2009, 05:27 PM
Sunday. Housemate whining about needing to go to Brighton to collect mothers Xmas present. Too big to carry. Wanted me to drive her.
Said fine, "will drive you in return for fuel money" Thought would be a nice opportunity to take Big Frank to the beach
Told her to be ready 11AM to miss crap sunday afternoon London gridlock . She finally finished Feckarsing by 2PM and was ready to go just in time for 2.30 PM.
Is when on Sunday, traffic in and around London grinds to a near standstill.
Painful crawley slow journey through London ahead. Already annoyed.
Get in car, prepare self for Hell.
Throughout 3 hour journey car was either "too hot, too cold, not comfy in back, music to loud, music to crap..at one point quote "music obnoxious" her dog covered entire red interior of my car in white hair, would not sit still...scratched leather seats to hell. No apology, got mad with me when I requested wrap dog in blanket to prevent spread of white hair and ruination of upholstery. Would be too hot for dog. Better to ruin interior of car than have hot dog.
Defended herself saying "Haven't wrapped your dog in blanket"...replied "is because my dog isn't destroying my car..is sleeping in passenger foot well"
After ballbreakingly long drive through traffic the likes of which makes you want to kill everyone who comes within 10 Meters of your car, got there in complete darkness. No chance of getting onto beach with Frank, Frank disappointed with long drive and no walkies at end of it.
I Had developed amazing headache.
Parked up 11 yards (literally, know this because Sat nav told me) from her friends front door. Housemate had cheek to complain she had too much stuff to carry to door (one handbag, and dog..which could walk provided had not tired self out tearing my car to pieces)
Had to spend a further 10 minutes lurching round one way systems before eventually parking on double yellows between scaffolding poles in order to get close to friends door because she refused to walk with bag and dog. Took shitty tone with me when I said "but the door is like ten steps away"
Deposited housemare and drove round to my friends house to calm down whilst she collected present too big to carry. Went and put £20 worth of petrol in my car which I paid for as repeated observations about fuel gauge being "in the red" ignored by housemate.
Had two cups of tea with my friend who I've not seen in months. Phoned housemate, said please be waiting outside in 30 mins, no where to park except on double yellow lines,between scaffolding poles, on a junction...opposite Brighton's police station.
Drove to pick her up no sign. Phoned her, said "down in a second" 15 minutes later..eventually showed up. In mean time police office came over and warned me about parking, said if I was still there in five minutes would almost definitely give me a ticket. Housemate appeared. Soon as in car moaned about temperature of car. Housemate had been playing with ferrets during my absence. STANK. Not enough magic tree in the world.
Asked her where present was she said "in bag" I asked it I could look. Present was size of a tea cup (NO exaggeration) Was a small pottery version or her dog. Could have carried herself in pocket. Thats how small! Just too tight to pay the £23 return train fare and too lazy to walk to station.
Hit traffic again coming back. Further 3 hours and £10 worth of fuel needed due never getting out of second gear for 30 miles. Again. I paid.
Eventually got back to flat at 11PM. Gave me £12 for fuel. Never even said Thanks. Entire Sunday robbed not even a Thankyou.
Drove 140 Miles not including enforced D-tour to Gatwick in order to feed whining fake vegetarian housemate a Bacon and Chicken festive Mcf*ckery. Sauce was crap apparently, and meat filling dissapointing. Didn't like it. Told me so...12 times.
Achieved loss of £18 on fuel and considerable reduction of gearbox lifespan whilst listening to unfathomable number of complaints from back seat for almost 6 hours all to collect ceramic effigy of car interior destroying dog.
MUG.
Said fine, "will drive you in return for fuel money" Thought would be a nice opportunity to take Big Frank to the beach
Told her to be ready 11AM to miss crap sunday afternoon London gridlock . She finally finished Feckarsing by 2PM and was ready to go just in time for 2.30 PM.
Is when on Sunday, traffic in and around London grinds to a near standstill.
Painful crawley slow journey through London ahead. Already annoyed.
Get in car, prepare self for Hell.
Throughout 3 hour journey car was either "too hot, too cold, not comfy in back, music to loud, music to crap..at one point quote "music obnoxious" her dog covered entire red interior of my car in white hair, would not sit still...scratched leather seats to hell. No apology, got mad with me when I requested wrap dog in blanket to prevent spread of white hair and ruination of upholstery. Would be too hot for dog. Better to ruin interior of car than have hot dog.
Defended herself saying "Haven't wrapped your dog in blanket"...replied "is because my dog isn't destroying my car..is sleeping in passenger foot well"
After ballbreakingly long drive through traffic the likes of which makes you want to kill everyone who comes within 10 Meters of your car, got there in complete darkness. No chance of getting onto beach with Frank, Frank disappointed with long drive and no walkies at end of it.
I Had developed amazing headache.
Parked up 11 yards (literally, know this because Sat nav told me) from her friends front door. Housemate had cheek to complain she had too much stuff to carry to door (one handbag, and dog..which could walk provided had not tired self out tearing my car to pieces)
Had to spend a further 10 minutes lurching round one way systems before eventually parking on double yellows between scaffolding poles in order to get close to friends door because she refused to walk with bag and dog. Took shitty tone with me when I said "but the door is like ten steps away"
Deposited housemare and drove round to my friends house to calm down whilst she collected present too big to carry. Went and put £20 worth of petrol in my car which I paid for as repeated observations about fuel gauge being "in the red" ignored by housemate.
Had two cups of tea with my friend who I've not seen in months. Phoned housemate, said please be waiting outside in 30 mins, no where to park except on double yellow lines,between scaffolding poles, on a junction...opposite Brighton's police station.
Drove to pick her up no sign. Phoned her, said "down in a second" 15 minutes later..eventually showed up. In mean time police office came over and warned me about parking, said if I was still there in five minutes would almost definitely give me a ticket. Housemate appeared. Soon as in car moaned about temperature of car. Housemate had been playing with ferrets during my absence. STANK. Not enough magic tree in the world.
Asked her where present was she said "in bag" I asked it I could look. Present was size of a tea cup (NO exaggeration) Was a small pottery version or her dog. Could have carried herself in pocket. Thats how small! Just too tight to pay the £23 return train fare and too lazy to walk to station.
Hit traffic again coming back. Further 3 hours and £10 worth of fuel needed due never getting out of second gear for 30 miles. Again. I paid.
Eventually got back to flat at 11PM. Gave me £12 for fuel. Never even said Thanks. Entire Sunday robbed not even a Thankyou.
Drove 140 Miles not including enforced D-tour to Gatwick in order to feed whining fake vegetarian housemate a Bacon and Chicken festive Mcf*ckery. Sauce was crap apparently, and meat filling dissapointing. Didn't like it. Told me so...12 times.
Achieved loss of £18 on fuel and considerable reduction of gearbox lifespan whilst listening to unfathomable number of complaints from back seat for almost 6 hours all to collect ceramic effigy of car interior destroying dog.
MUG.